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A Shift in Perspective and a Fresh Take on My Newsletter, House Call | Wit & Delight

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A woman holding a cup of coffee is sitting on a plush chair with a yellow lab sleeping at her feet. The wall behind her is painted a peach color and has a large gallery wall on display. The rug on the floor is in a brown and cream checkerboard pattern.
Photo by Suruchi Avasthi

It’s never easy going through a career transition. I’ve written through it all with the hope I could provide some kind of answer that neatly ties up what the midlife crisis arch should look like. 

Nope.

This experience has been like shaking a tree until nothing else falls out. First came self-loathing and pity, then an inflated sense of self and entitlement, and finally, insecurity and hopelessness. I kept waiting for some kind of ah-ha moment to knock me on the head and show me a new way forward. It didn’t. 

A Shift in Perspective

Looking at the aftermath of all the changes I’ve made these past few months, it’s evident work was not the problem. The problem was what my work meant to me. I hadn’t loved what I’d been doing in the way I’d been doing it for a very long time. Taking away some of the expectations and pressure that came with the nonstop content model I’d built gave me a renewed perspective on the power of publishing. Recently, it became clear I have one thing left to do: let go of the way things used to be and move on to what’s next. 

I love what I have built with the Wit & Delight brand and my newsletter, House Call. I love the truth of my intentions and the people who get what I am about. Ironically, it has been easy to share what is wrong with me, and more scary to tell people what I care about. The latter is where I had become lost—and ultimately, found again. 

Taking away some of the expectations and pressure that came with the nonstop content model I’d built gave me a renewed perspective on the power of publishing.

Sharing content with this realization in mind has not been what I expected. It’s felt like standing naked on stage in front of an audience full of people who may want to hurt me. At times I’ve felt ready to walk away and not look back. And yet, I cannot deny I have something valuable to contribute. The career I’ve built is based online, a place where people often feel worst about themselves, and my only reason to leave was because I feared my reason to stay. 

Technically, I’m now back in my role of publishing full-time and am continuing to share content on both Wit & Delight and House Call, but things are different than they once were. It’s thrilling to have a renewed sense of clarity, and I’m willing to pay the price of feeling afraid along the way. 

What I’ve Been Working On

Behind the scenes, I’ve been working on making a few thoughtful updates to my newsletter through the lens of all that I’ve learned these past few months. In this fresh iteration of House Call, my goal is to connect the dots between inspiration and action.

Below I’m sharing a few updates I’m making to House Call and how you can subscribe to my newsletter if you haven’t already. I really hope you will.

A Fresh Take on House Call

I originally launched House Call as a space to delve deeper into the motivations behind why we work tirelessly on our homes and ultimately, why it matters.

In the eight months since then, I’ve re-evaluated what my contribution to this online space means. I’ve wrestled with my own convictions about the home decor influencer space and the role I play in it. I’ve committed to showing up more authentically—to talk about the aspects of home design that simmer beneath the pretty photos and provide accessible resources for design lovers like me. House Call is about getting off social media and bringing more of what we want into our own lives. 

In this fresh iteration of House Call, my goal is to connect the dots between inspiration and action.

The first few months of House Call felt like I was dipping my toe in. Now that I’ve had time to get a feel for this space and test the waters, I’m ready to give House Call a refresh. I’m making a few updates to the schedule and format of the newsletters. I’m also bringing more clarity to the purpose of House Call and what each subscription tier offers. 

I am eager to keep showing up in this space that’s grown to mean so much to me this year. To all who have subscribed, thank you!

The Perks of Subscribing to House Call

You won’t see an ad or sponsor on House Call, so if you’d like to support my newsletter financially, here are three options:

  1. Monthly: $5/month
  2. Annual: $52/year ($4.33/month)
  3. Founding: $75/year 

Paid subscribers get…

  • A newsletter every single week! This includes:
    • An essay every other Thursday about home life and issues beyond the pretty pictures we see on Instagram, including dealing with home envy, battling decision fatigue, working within budget limitations, and facing impostor syndrome. 
    • A newsletter every other Thursday which includes a snippet from the previous week’s paid newsletter topic, a peek into my life lately, articles and product recommendations, plus design projects that get your creative juices flowing. 
  • Access to the full House Call archive.
  • Bonus content, including updates on my design project, Nine Pines, and occasional video extras from me.
  • Access to exclusive chat threads.

Free subscribers get…

  • A newsletter every other Thursday which includes a snippet from the previous week’s paid newsletter topic, a peek into my life lately, articles and product recommendations, plus design projects that get your creative juices flowing.

House Call is a reader-supported newsletter. The best way to support my work is by clicking the button below and becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you always! – Kate



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8 Essential Tasks for Maintaining a Healthy Garden All Year Long | Wit & Delight

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A view of a front of  a house in front a landscaped fall garden.
This post is brought to you by Tonkadale.

When it comes to gardening like a pro, regular maintenance is key. It’s the secret to setting yourself up for success and achieving a thriving, healthy garden. By staying on top of simple tasks over the course of the growing season, you can create an environment that nurtures healthy plants and beautiful blooms.

To help you get started, our friend Jessie Jacobson, owner of Tonkadale, is back and sharing eight essential tasks to incorporate into your gardening routine throughout the year. These tasks will ensure that your garden remains vibrant and flourishing, no matter the season. So grab your gardening gloves and let’s dive into the details of each task, from pruning to planting to prepping for winter. Happy gardening!

8 Steps for a Healthy Garden

1. Yard and Garden Cleanup

In the spring, start yard and garden cleanup after the daytime temperatures are consistently 50 degrees and above. This allows our overwintering pollinator friends time to wake up without disturbance.

2. Mulch

Wait to add fresh mulch to gardens until the soil has warmed and is workable.

3. Deadhead

Throughout the growing season, continuously clip back spent blooms. Do consider leaving some seed pods to provide fall and winter interest and food for songbirds.

White hydrangeas in an outdoor gardening nursery
Image courtesy of Aaron Kessler (@aaronkesslershophq)

4. Prune

Pruning is generally done after bloom time. This is especially true for flowering shrubs. Prune shrubs that bloom on new wood (buds are formed on new growth during the current growing season) in late winter or early spring. In the Twin Cities area, this is late March or early April. You may also prune this type of shrub in the fall, but most gardeners like to leave dried blooms for winter interest. Examples include panicle hydrangeas, spirea, roses, smoke bush, and cotoneaster.

Prune shrubs that bloom on old wood (buds are formed the previous year and are ready to pop during the following growing season) in late spring, summer, or fall. In general, prune these shrubs after they bloom and their flowers fade. Think spring bloomers. Examples include forsythia, magnolia, lilacs, weigela, ninebark, and viburnum.

5. Divide

It’s best to divide plants after their bloom time or in the fall, making sure to avoid the hottest days of summer. Perennials need to be divided when they become too big for the space, have open or dead centers, are flopping over, display reduced vigor or blooms, or have multiple crowns.

6. Plant

Plant perennials, trees, and shrubs any time after the soil warms, avoiding the hottest days of the summer. Fall is a great time for planting if extra winter protection is provided. Dig a hole twice the diameter of the plant, amend the soil with compost or planting mix, and water well during the first year of establishment.

A backyard with a table and chairs set in the fallen leaves.

7. Winter Prep

Make sure to cut back any dead or diseased plant tissue in the fall. Many gardeners like to leave as many plants as possible (or as much as they can tolerate) standing to provide winter habitat for overwintering pollinators, food for songbirds, winter interest, and a place for snow to gather which provides extra winter protection. Whatever you leave up in the fall will need to be cut back or cleaned up in the spring.

In general, leave up hydrangeas, echinacea, ornamental grasses, heuchera, and sedum. Some plants just don’t make it to the end of the season looking their best. Don’t be afraid to remove foliage throughout the season. Bleeding hearts and peonies start to look ragged late in the summer while salvia and catmint will provide a flush of new blooms. Major cutbacks should be done after the first hard frost.

8. Cover

Cover tender or newly planted perennials in the fall after the ground has frozen solid to provide extra insulation, which alleviates damage and dieback from freeze-thaw cycles. Pile in 6” of marsh hay or leaves from the yard. Wrap evergreens that are prone to winter burn, like boxwood and arborvitae, with a couple of layers of burlap.

Whether you’re a seasoned gardener or a novice, the process of growing and nurturing plants is a rewarding endeavor. A healthy garden takes time, practice, and a little bit of luck. Remember, every garden is a living, breathing ecosystem that requires care, attention, and a good deal of love. If you’re uncertain about any aspect of your gardening journey or need specific advice or materials, don’t hesitate to drop by Tonkadale. Their team of experts is always ready to share knowledge, provide guidance, and offer the best products to meet all your gardening needs.

Editor’s Note: This post was sponsored by Tonkadale. The compensation we receive in exchange for placement on Wit & Delight is used to purchase props, hire a photographer, write/edit the blog post, and support the larger team behind Wit & Delight.

While compensation was received in exchange for coverage, all thoughts and opinions are always my own. Sponsored posts like these allow us to continue to develop dynamic unsponsored content. Thank you for supporting our partners!



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U.N. Security Council Calls for Immediate Cease-Fire in Gaza as U.S. Abstains

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The United Nations Security Council on Monday passed a resolution calling for an immediate cease-fire in the Gaza Strip during the remaining weeks of Ramadan, breaking a five-month impasse during which the United States vetoed three calls for a halt to the fighting.

The resolution passed with 14 votes in favor and the United States abstaining, which U.S. officials said they did in part because the resolution did not condemn Hamas. In addition to a cease-fire, the resolution also called for the “immediate and unconditional release of all hostages” and the lifting of “all barriers to the provision of humanitarian assistance.”

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel immediately criticized the United States for allowing the resolution to pass, and ordered a delegation scheduled to go to Washington to hold high-level talks with U.S. officials to remain in Israel instead. President Biden had requested those meetings to discuss alternatives to a planned Israeli offensive into Rafah, the city in southern Gaza where more than a million people have sought refuge. American officials have said such an operation would create a humanitarian disaster.

Mr. Netanyahu’s office called the U.S. abstention from the vote a “clear departure from the consistent U.S. position in the Security Council since the beginning of the war,” and said it “harms both the war effort and the effort to release the hostages.”

Top Israeli officials indicated that they would not implement the resolution for now. “The State of Israel will not cease firing. We will destroy Hamas and continue fighting until the every last hostage has come home,” Israel Katz, the country’s foreign minister, wrote on social media.

Yoav Gallant, the Israeli defense minister, who was already in Washington for meetings with top Biden administration officials, similarly gave no sign Israel would implement a cease-fire.

“We will operate against Hamas everywhere — including in places where we have not yet been,” he said. He added, “We have no moral right to stop the war while there are still hostages held in Gaza.”

The White House sought to play down the growing rift with Israel. John F. Kirby, a spokesman for the National Security Council, insisted there had been no change in U.S. policy. He said there had been no official notification that the full delegation from Israel was not coming to Washington, but added: “We were looking forward to having an opportunity to speak to a delegation later this week on exploring viable options and alternatives to a major ground offensive in Rafah.”

“We felt we had valuable lessons to share,” Mr. Kirby said. He noted that Mr. Gallant was still expected to meet with Mr. Biden’s national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, as well as Secretary of State Antony J. Blinken and Defense Secretary Lloyd J. Austin III.

Inside the Security Council, the passage of the resolution was greeted with applause.

“Finally, finally, the Security Council is shouldering its responsibility,” said Amar Bendjama, the Algerian ambassador to the U.N. and the only Arab member of the Council. “It is finally responding to the calls of the international community.”

The resolution, which was put forth by the 10 nonpermanent members of the Council, was being negotiated intensely until the last minute, with the United States asking for revisions in the text.

Sheltering under a tent in Rafah, Mohammed Radi, 37, said that the notion of the war ending was a dream after so many months of fighting.

“Things have not changed and I don’t see people celebrating,” he said by telephone when asked about the resolution. “We are still at war.”

António Guterres, the U.N. secretary general, who is in the Middle East meeting with Arab leaders about the war, said in a post on social media that, “this resolution must be implemented. Failure would be unforgivable.”

In recent years, the United States has rarely broken with Israel in the Security Council. In 2009, in the final days of the George W. Bush presidency, the United States abstained on a cease-fire resolution on a previous war in Gaza. Under President Barack Obama, it abstained on the 2016 resolution on Israeli settlements. And it abstained again on a resolution three months ago on humanitarian aid for Gaza.

“The crucial variable is that the Biden administration is obviously not happy with Israel’s military posture now, and allowing this resolution to pass was one relatively soft way to signal its concern,” said Richard Gowan, an expert on the United Nations at the International Crisis Group. “But the abstention is a not-too-coded hint to Netanyahu to rein in operations, above all over Rafah.”

Since the war began, the United States had vetoed three previous resolutions calling for a cease-fire, agreeing with Israel’s position that it had a right to defend itself, that a permanent cease-fire would benefit Hamas and that such a resolution could jeopardize diplomatic talks. Those vetoes infuriated many diplomats and U.N. officials as the civilian death toll in the war rose, and created rifts with staunch U.S. allies in Europe, including France.

Russia and China then vetoed two alternative resolutions put forth by the United States, the most recent one last Friday, because, they said, the proposals did not clearly demand a cease-fire.

The United States has been sharply criticized by many leaders for failing to persuade Israel, its close ally, to stop or scale back its bombing campaign and ground invasion in Gaza, which the territory’s health officials say have killed some 32,000 people, displaced most of the population and reduced much of the strip to ruins.

Israel launched the war after a Hamas-led attack on Oct. 7 that killed about 1,200 people, mostly civilians, and took over 250 hostage into Gaza, according to Israeli officials. Israeli leaders continue to insist that their aims, including the defeat of Hamas, have yet to be fully realized, meaning they cannot countenance a permanent cease-fire.

Security Council resolutions are considered to be international law. And while the Council has no means of enforcing the resolution, it could impose punitive measures, such as sanctions, on Israel, so long as member states agreed.

Linda Thomas-Greenfield, the U.S. ambassador, said the adopted resolution fell in line with diplomatic efforts by the United States, Qatar and Egypt to broker a cease-fire in exchange for the release of hostages held in Gaza. She said the U.S. abstained because it did not agree with everything in the resolution, including the decision not to condemn Hamas’s Oct. 7 attacks.

“A cease-fire of any duration must come with the release of hostages — this is the only path,” Ms. Thomas-Greenfield said.

The United States asked for a change in the text that removed “permanent cease-fire” and replaced it with a “lasting cease-fire,” according to diplomats, and wanted to make a cease-fire conditional to the release of the hostages, which is in line with its policy and the negotiations it is leading with Qatar and Egypt.

The resolution adopted on Monday does demand for the unconditional and immediate release of all hostages, but does not make its cease-fire demand conditional on the releases. Ms. Thomas-Greenfield called the resolution “nonbinding.”

The U.S.-backed resolution that failed on Friday also condemned Hamas’s Oct. 7 attack and called for U.N. member states to restrict funding to the Palestinian armed group.

Whereas the failed resolution drafted by the United States said the Security Council “determines the imperative of an immediate and sustained cease-fire,” the resolution that passed Monday was far more concise and direct. It demanded “an immediate cease-fire for the month of Ramadan respected by all parties leading to a permanent sustainable cease-fire.”

There are two weeks remaining in the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.

The resolution also deplores “all attacks against civilians” and “all acts of terrorism,” specifically singling out the taking of hostages.

Israel’s ambassador to the U.N., Gilad Erdan, accused the Council of being biased against Israel because it had taken no action on helping secure hostages held captive in Gaza. He said all Council members should have voted “against this shameful resolution.”

As images of starving children, carnage and vast destruction of civilian infrastructure from Gaza have circulated, pressure has mounted on the Security Council to act and for the U.S. not to wield its veto.

“When such atrocities are being committed in broad daylight against defenseless civilians, including women and children, the right thing to do, the only thing to do morally, legally and politically is to put an end to it,” Riyad Mansour, the Palestinian representative to the United Nations, said to the Council.

International aid agencies, which have for months pleaded for a cease-fire in Gaza, welcomed the resolution and said in statements that it must be implemented immediately to provide civilians with a respite and allow aid workers to deliver food, medicine, water and other crucial items at the scale needed.

“A cease-fire is the only way to ensure civilians are protected and is central to enabling the scale up of humanitarian assistance to safely reach those in desperate need. This resolution must serve as a critical turning point,” the International Rescue Committee said in a statement.

Hamas, which is holding more than 100 hostages seized during the Oct. 7 attack on Israel that set off the war, welcomed the Security Council resolution in a statement on Telegram. It added that the Palestinian armed group was willing “to immediately engage on a prisoner exchange process that would lead to the release of prisoners on both sides.”

The resolution that passed on Monday also called for both sides to “comply with their obligations under international law in relation to all persons they detain.”

Iyad Abuheweila contributed reporting.



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US Must Stop Facilitating Mass Killing in Gaza

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It is against US law to provide weapons to forces who block United States humanitarian assistance. And that is exactly what is happening right now

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Sky Sports named Sports Content Organisation of the Year at SJA Awards | Football News

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Sky Sports was named Sports Content Organisation of the Year at the 2023 Sports Journalists’ Association awards on Monday.

This is the second year running that the company has claimed the award which sits across both the broadcast and writing categories, with judges looking for the organisation that best serves their audience using original journalism, style and innovation.

Sky Sports‘ Monday Night Football – hosted by Jamie Carragher and David Jones – was named Television Show of the Year with judges highlighting its “esteem, journalism and reach”.

Nasser Hussain was awarded Commentator of the Year for his work on Sky Sports’ cricket coverage.

Mark Chapman, who presented Sky’s coverage of the Carabao Cup, claimed the prize for Presenter of the Year for a second year in a row.

Sky Sports News’ diversity & inclusion reporter Miriam Walker-Khan picked up the One To Watch On-Air award.

Meanwhile, Sky Sports News’ Maryam Chaudhary won the One To Watch Off-Air Award.

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Crime Laws: How Louisiana, Georgia, Other States Embrace ‘Tough-on-Crime’ Laws

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This is The Marshall Project’s Closing Argument newsletter, a weekly deep dive into a key criminal justice issue. Want this delivered to your inbox? Subscribe to future newsletters here.

For decades, Louisiana had the nation’s highest rate of incarceration. And — given that the U.S. is among the most carceral countries on the planet — the state arguably spent some 20 years as the “prison capital” of the world.

Louisiana lost that distinction, by a hair, after a series of 2017 reforms successfully shrank the prison population by a third. (In recent years, it has jockeyed back and forth with a few states for the title.)

But “prison capital of the world” is a sobriquet the state is likely to regain after state legislators sent a suite of punitive changes to Gov. Jeff Landry’s desk this week. The new laws would end the possibility of parole for most new convictions and increase how much of a sentence a person must serve before being released for good behavior, from 35% of the sentence to 85%. The changes also do away with some of the tools local prosecutors had for undoing wrongful convictions, which are more common in Louisiana than in the rest of the U.S.

Criminal justice reform advocates have pushed back on the legislation, arguing that people released on parole are less likely to commit new crimes than those who serve full prison terms. In 2023, fewer than 400 people, or about 1% of the state’s prisoners, were granted parole. There’s also evidence that getting rid of parole, alongside time reductions for good behavior behind bars, makes prisons more dangerous by removing the incentives for people to pursue rehabilitative programming and avoid disciplinary violations.

Another new Louisiana law mandates that 17-year-olds accused of crimes be charged as adults, rather than in the juvenile justice system, reversing a 2017 reform that did the opposite. Proponents of the change say that the state’s youth jails became more volatile with the introduction of 17-year-olds. Critics note that the state already has mechanisms for transferring 17-year-olds accused of serious crimes into the adult system, so the change will mostly serve to criminalize teens charged with petty crimes.

The package of laws included other components that may not directly increase the prison population, but are designed to signal a “tough” approach to crime. This includes authorizing electrocution and nitrogen gas as execution methods, and making public the criminal records of minors accused of certain crimes. In total, the new suite of laws likely makes Louisiana the most punitive justice system in the nation, with harsher penalties than it had even before the bipartisan reforms passed in 2017. The new changes likely will bring a substantial cost to taxpayers.

Louisiana is not alone. Across the country, state legislatures are rapidly advancing punitive bills and rolling back criminal justice reforms, largely in response to fears about crime. In Georgia, Senate Bill 63 — which has passed the state Senate and House — would add 30 charges to the list of crimes that require judges to impose cash bail to release a person from jail pretrial. That list includes many minor and nonviolent crimes like shoplifting and forgery, if they’re not a first offense. The bill would effectively ban charitable bail funds in the state, in what some have interpreted as a direct attack on the “Stop Cop City” protest movement, which has relied on bail funds to get arrested activists out of jail.

In Kentucky, a similar measure to restrict charitable bail funds passed in the state House and is pending in the Senate. It’s part of a broader package that would also stiffen penalties for the sale of fentanyl and some gun crimes, and impose a life sentence without parole on anyone convicted of a violent offense for a third time. The bill would also create a new law against “unlawful camping,” an effort aimed at policing unhoused people.

Both Kentucky and Georgia have experienced serious issues with overcrowding and understaffing in jails and prisons in recent years, problems that the pending laws are likely to make worse.

This week the Washington, D.C., city council also passed a “massive” crime bill that, similarly, “puts the liberal city ​​on a track toward harsher punishments for a range of crimes from illegal gun possession to retail theft,” according to The Washington Post. The new criminal code, which has increasingly become a political football in the nation’s capital, has to be approved by Congress to take permanent effect.

While they vary dramatically in scope and approach, punitive legislative efforts are also underway in Oregon, Tennessee, Vermont and elsewhere. As in Louisiana, many of these legislative efforts aim to undo reforms passed in recent years.

Aswad Thomas, the National Director for Crime Survivors for Safety and Justice, told me this week that some of these efforts come as states cut resources “for victims to access healing and recovery services” and invest more in policing and incarceration. “That’s going to have a ripple effect on domestic violence victims, sexual assault victims, and victims of gun violence,” Thomas said.

For example, in Louisiana, the governor’s proposed budget — unveiled at the same time as the special session about crime — cuts $7 million in funding for domestic violence shelters in a state where more than half of all murdered women are killed by an intimate partner. “Every single person we are serving is a victim of crime,” the director of one shelter told the Louisiana Illuminator.

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7 of My Best Tips for Hosting a Dinner Party Everyone Will Enjoy | Wit & Delight

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Five friends are seated around a dining table at a dinner party. The table is covered by a checkered tablecloth, place settings, lit candles, drinks, and food.

As we welcome cooler weather, hosting season is upon us. It surprises me a little that I like to entertain so much, as I tend to be a socially anxious person. I know from talking with others that sometimes people can be nervous to host because there are so many things that could go “wrong.” If you find yourself nervous about hosting a dinner party in your space, I encourage you to reframe your approach. Consider hosting an opportunity to flex your creative muscles and be with people you love.

Having hosted so often over the years, I’ve developed my own checklist of things that take any occasion up a notch.

I’m sharing my tips and tricks for hosting a dinner party—one everyone at the table will enjoy—whether you’re a seasoned host or simply testing the waters.

The 7 Things I Do Every Time I’m Hosting a Dinner Party

1. Consider the guest list.

In many cases, the guest list—and the way I want to connect with any given group—dictates the kind of party I’ll have. When I have a group of close friends over, I tend to keep the evening casual, possibly assembling a few dishes together and splitting up responsibilities. If I were hosting in-laws for the first time, I might make the menu more formal and have a festive drink like champagne at the ready.

When setting the timing for the occasion, I also find it helpful to think about what will work best for the people I’m inviting. For example, people who have children may want to meet later in the evening (or earlier—it depends!). I think about the life phases everyone’s in so they’re better able to enjoy the time they’re spending in my home.

2. Set the menu.

The menu I set varies greatly depending on the guest list and overall vibe of the evening, but I do have a few guidelines I follow.

  • I don’t usually cook new things (unless it’s cookbook club).
  • I try to choose unfussy dishes that, if needed, could sit in the oven without overcooking or come to the table a little cold without sacrificing quality.
  • On most occasions, I try to reduce the number of dishes I’m making. A pot of soup, a salad, and a good loaf of bread is more than enough of a reason to have people over.
  • I determine the order of drinks beforehand, which is generally a few varieties of wine and possibly a specialty cocktail. If I need help deciding on pairings, I ask the staff at Thomas Liquors for their suggestions!

3. Prep beforehand.

I think through how I’d like the evening to flow and start prepping a few days beforehand. I write a list of everything that needs to get done, planned out by day and time (e.g., what needs to happen two days before, the day before, the day of, the hour before). The list includes shopping at various stores, cleaning, setting the table, prepping ingredients, cooking dishes, etc. This kind of forethought is the only way for me to juggle (and delegate as needed) all of the hosting tasks while also keeping up with everyday life. 

4. Play around with the table setting.

I often set the table the day before I host. This gives me a chance to play around with different placemats, table linens, dishes, and serveware until I land on the combination that feels right. 

5. Set the mood with sensory elements.

Sensory elements are key to making a dinner party feel special. These are a few touches I always implement:

  • I only turn on dimmable pendant lights or lamps (this lamp from Schoolhouse is a favorite)—never bright overhead lights.
  • I have a candle set out in the entryway to greet people when they come inside—ideally something that lingers well with the scent of food. My go-to is the Maison Louis Marie No.04 candle.
  • I refresh the nearest bathroom with fresh towels, a flower in a bud vase, and a candle. 
  • I create a playlist! Music is a must. 

6. Give (some) guests jobs.

I like to think beforehand about a few tasks I might want help with once guests arrive (e.g. finish setting the table, put toppings on a dish, mix cocktails). Inevitably, there will be at least one person who prefers to help with the finishing touches rather than being idle. It’s easy to busy them with something if I already have a list in mind.

7. Lead the flow of the evening.

I generally like to host a progressive party, flowing between a few rooms over the course of the evening. People look to the host for cues at dinner parties, and I’ll let everyone know when it’s time to make a move. We’ll usually start with a cocktail in the kitchen while I make the finishing touches to the food, although sometimes the night will begin with a drink in a more formal space. We’ll move to the dining table for dinner, then have coffee and dessert sitting around the coffee table in the peach room. 

Editor’s Note: This article contains affiliate links. Wit & Delight uses affiliate links as a source of revenue to fund the operations of the business. Have a question or want to learn more about how we use affiliate links? Shoot us an email.



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My Thoughts on Turning 40 and the Best Lessons I’ve Learned in 40 Years | Wit & Delight

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A photo of a woman who's turning 40 sitting on her front step and smiling into the camera.

I’m turning forty at the start of November. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what this birthday means to me. A lot of what’s happened in the past fifteen years of my life has culminated in a search for understanding. In those years, I’ve found myself grappling with what it means to be so in my head. I’ve been looking for meaning in my internal world to understand who I am. Sometimes we get so caught up in searching that we forget so much of life is about letting go. 

I’ve heard many times that life begins at forty. There’s something about the striving and chasing and needing to be seen that’s so inherent in our younger years. I spent the first twenty-plus years of my life playing by rules I thought would give me peace, security, and acceptance, only to find that I could achieve a lot of things and still feel lost. I’ve gotten to a place where I can see that lifestyle for the trap it is and recognize what I’ve had to give up to participate in that kind of society. These days, I’m trying to live life by my own rules. 

Today I’m sharing my thoughts on turning forty next month and the lessons that are the foundation of what I’ve learned in the past forty years.

I always find these pieces of content really inspiring to read. The wisdom within feels like a launch pad for forward motion in the right direction. I hope this post resonates with you.

On Turning 40 and the Best Lessons I’ve Learned in 40 Years

1. Trusting your gut instinct takes practice. Sometimes it’s the process of listening to your gut—often over and over again—that helps you figure out how to trust it. If your gut screams no, do not keep going (yes, even if it’s the day before your wedding). 

2. Life is meant to be experienced. Enjoy as many foods, flavors, and moments of delight as possible. Go to the show, wear the bright colors, and move toward what draws you in. 

3. Connection is an elixir for a lot of the questions you have about the meaning of life. When you find yourself thinking, What’s the point?, remember that it’s not only about you.

4. Most things you do are about feeling happy, being safe, and trying to survive. When you recognize this, you begin to realize it isn’t actually about acquiring the house, the job, or the money. 

5. We are all incredibly creative, but it takes courage to let that part of ourselves out. Be brave. 

6. Live in the season you’re in. If it’s tomato season, eat a tomato. If it’s a season of rest, rest more often. Give yourself more of what you need most in each season of the year and in each season of life. This approach is a wonderful way of finding presence. 

7. You are not something to be punished. Don’t punish your body by restricting things it needs. Do not punish yourself into success. 

8. Whenever possible, do the hard thing. Do it as soon as possible. There are times when you won’t have it in you to follow through on this, but you must be able to recognize the difference between when you need to give yourself grace and when you need to buck up.

9. Don’t let other people talk you out of things you know to be true, even if they’re incredibly convincing. People who try to talk you out of doing something big and scary are often just afraid for you. That’s their own thing.

10. Invite people into your home without worrying about how it will be received. Life is too short to waste your energy on the impossible task of trying to control other people’s opinions of you. 

11. Be aware of your bubble. Talk to people who are not like you, especially if you find yourself judging others or jumping to the impression that they’re “wrong” or “bad.” 

12. Buy clothes that feel comfortable on your body. Do not think about the size—it doesn’t matter. 

13. When you’re ready to burn shit down, ask what you need. Usually, it’s that you’re hungry, thirsty, tired, in need of a shower, or in need of a few deep breaths. 

14. Writing things down and making a plan—even if it’s loose—is crucial. When you do this at night, you’ll feel so much better the next day.

15. The worst-case scenario rarely happens. You think about it because you want to be prepared in the event it does happen, but doing so only puts you in a prolonged state of worry. 

16. Don’t force anything. If the thing doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. This applies to everything—partnerships, jobs, friendships, and more.

17. Movement is crucial. You always feel better after dancing or going for a walk.

18. Shame is something a lot of people use to try to control others and keep them small. Get good at recognizing it. You don’t have to subscribe to that. 

19. Don’t suppress the big emotions. Let yourself cry. Let yourself laugh.

20. We learn most of the important things in life as children when we have an innate sense of curiosity about the world. We’re open to new ideas. We have fewer beliefs about “how things should be.” It’s so easy to lose that outlook as we grow up. Don’t. 

21. Surround yourself with beauty. Always.

22. Be honest with yourself about how you get in your own way. 

23. It’s not your job to make other people comfortable. Other people’s bad moods and bad behavior often have nothing to do with you.

24. It’s also not your job to fix people. It’s not your job to pass judgment, ridicule, or assume you know what they are going through. 

25. The act of practicing gratitude has a profound impact on your mental health. 

26. Late blooming is a wonderful thing. Don’t be afraid of it.

27. Sleep is crucial. Protect your rest

28. Enjoy the things you’ve brought into your home. Use the nice candles. Put out the nice throw blankets. Set the table with the good dishes. What are you waiting for?

29. Don’t be connected all the time. Spend time offline and spend time alone.

30. You can’t necessarily therapize your way into believing in yourself. You have to face yourself and consistently show up for yourself in order to build that kind of confidence.

31. There’s a reason why listening to music makes you feel something. Putting on a good playlist makes you feel at home in your body. 

32. There comes a time when you have to let go of the hard things that have happened to you in order to move forward. You won’t make sense of it all but you will gain a sense of freedom from it.

33. Lighting makes all the difference. Don’t use the overhead lights. Put dimmers on everything. Never buy daylight lightbulbs.

34. True connection always requires vulnerability. Show up with the intention to be true to yourself and give of yourself—without trying to control the way people feel about you.

35. Don’t be afraid of discomfort. It’s often a gift—use it.

36. Everything passes.

37. Getting dressed every day makes you feel better—especially when you relax into your unique sense of style. For someone who’s always felt uncomfortable in their own skin, this is a welcome surprise.

38. People who are truly honest are very rare to find. That doesn’t mean you can’t trust people. Trust that people have the best intentions but don’t put yourself in a situation where they’re able to take advantage of you.

39. You are capable of more than you realize. Most of what you want requires courage, which means you must feel the fear and trust yourself as you move through it. 

40. Forty isn’t old. There’s still time for you to be who you want to be. There’s still so much time to enjoy this life. The biggest thing I’m afraid of when I think about getting older is that I’ll look back and feel like I blinked and it was gone. I want to move forward into this next decade and beyond with eyes wide open, taking in every moment as it comes.

P.S. If you liked this post, read this article from last year next: “39 Personal Truths About Life I’ve Learned in 39 Years.”



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Tuesday Briefing: U.N. Voted for a Gaza Cease-Fire

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The U.N. Security Council yesterday passed a resolution calling for an immediate cease-fire in Gaza for the month of Ramadan, which has two weeks remaining. The vote broke a five-month impasse during which the U.S. vetoed several calls for ending the war, while the humanitarian toll of Israel’s military offensive climbed higher. The resolution passed with 14 votes in favor. The U.S. abstained, which allowed it to pass.

The resolution demands the unconditional and immediate release of all hostages but it does not make the demands for a cease-fire conditional on hostage release — one of Israel’s stated objections to the measure. It remained unclear whether Israel or Hamas would heed the resolution’s call for a halt in hostilities.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu criticized the U.S. for allowing the resolution to pass, saying that the abstention “harms the war effort as well as the effort to liberate the hostages.” The Israeli leader said he would cancel a planned high-level delegation to Washington. President Biden had requested the meeting to discuss alternatives to a planned Israeli offensive into Rafah, which American officials have said would create a humanitarian disaster.

On the ground, the Israeli military said its forces had surrounded a hospital in Khan Younis in southern Gaza while continuing a raid on Al-Shifa Hospital in the north for an eighth day.

Donald Trump’s criminal trial on charges that he falsified business records to cover up a sex scandal will start on April 15, after a judge denied an attempt by the former president to delay it further. The ruling makes it all but certain that Trump will be the first former American president to stand trial. It may also be the only trial he faces before the election.

Separately, in Trump’s fraud case, a court lowered his bond to $175 million while he appeals the $454 million judgment against him. The ruling was a crucial and unexpected victory for the former president. If the court denied his request, and if he then failed to obtain the half-billion-dollar bond he would have needed, Trump could have lost control over his bank accounts and even some of his marquee properties.

Trump has 10 days to secure the new bond, which should be within reach, according to two people with knowledge of his finances. Trump’s new social media company, which increased his net worth by billions, will start trading publicly today.

The U.S. imposed sanctions yesterday on Chinese hackers who were accused of working as a front for Beijing’s top spy agency. The U.S. said the hackers were part of a broad effort to place malware in U.S. electric grids, water systems and other critical infrastructure. U.S. intelligence agencies have warned in recent months that the malware appeared to be intended for use if the U.S. came to Taiwan’s aid.

The British government yesterday accused China of cyberattacks that compromised the voting records of tens of millions of people, and announced sanctions against two individuals and one company implicated in the attacks. The government had disclosed the attacks last year but did not identify those behind them.

My colleague Amelia Nierenberg went to Iceland to see the aurora borealis. To tourists, it might seem like the northern lights dance across Iceland’s sky every night. But as she pounded the pavement with her eyes on the stars, she found that the light show can be elusive.

Alexei Ratmansky’s new dance for New York City Ballet, “Solitude,” is a reaction to the horrors of the war in Ukraine.

Ratmansky grew up in Kyiv, and his piece offers a chilling view of the war while avoiding sentimentality. It was inspired by a photograph of a father kneeling next to the body of his 13-year-old son after he was killed by a Russian airstrike at a bus stop in Kharkiv. That grief, our critic wrote in February, is apparent from the start in this “heartbreaking” work. Watch a section of it, performed by Joseph Gordon.

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TIP, a Soros-Funded Georgetown Univ. Org Under Scrutiny

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TIP, a Soros-Funded Georgetown Univ. Org Under Scrutiny

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Dozens Killed as Israeli Strikes Pound Lebanon, Health Ministry Says

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The deadliest strikes hit the Bekaa Valley, in and around the historic city of Baalbek, overnight. Source link